Brown Girl Trauma: How Nisha Patel Built a Platform to Address Mental Health Stigmas in South Asian Communities
“There are many misconceptions about mental health issues in the South Asian community. The goal is to shed light on the toxic cycle that we do not talk about. The way of life for the past generation does not have to be their children’s’ reality.” Today’s woman dreamer, Nisha Patel is a mental health therapist and the founder of Brown Girl Trauma, a platform dedicated to breaking the cycle of generational trauma and family dysfunction in the South Asian community. Since 2017, she has grown the platform to reach approx 70,000 people. We are excited to conclude Mental Health Month this way with her powerful story!
1) Tell us your story. What inspired your interest in mental health.
Brown Girl Trauma started as a passion project in July 2020 as we were going through the pandemic. It was intended to create a safe space for adult children of dysfunctional families as many were trying to navigate difficult and toxic relationships during quarantine. As I shared content on social media, I realized my narrative mimicked the story of many South Asians who grew up in dysfunctional households and sought a space to heal. During undergraduate school, I was fortunate to find a South Asian therapist on campus who understood what I was going through and helped me work through some of my dysfunctional behaviors and family patterns I had inherited. I was in and out of therapy. Shortly after she retired, I worked with two white therapists who initially understood what I was feeling, but I had reached a point where they could not understand the cultural context of my narrative. As I went off to graduate school in 2017, I always knew I wanted to create a space and resources for my community where people felt seen and validated. Today this community has grown to over 70,000 people reaching several countries. It has quickly become a safe space for those who come from dysfunctional families all around the world.
2) You are particularly vocal about family dysfunctionality and trauma impacts on mental health. Tell us more about your findings and experience here? What is your advice to others?
People often ask me if I come from a dysfunctional family. My simple answer is yes, I do. However, it is important to remember that the people I grew up with were not dysfunctional people. We were all just wired with dysfunctional/unhealthy patterns. These patterns, when unresolved, may continue to be problematic in your life impacting your mental health. As I work with clients now, I am noticing a common theme- unresolved trauma which led to my interest in generational trauma and healing. It is important to understand our own patterns and family dynamics, so we do not unconsciously repeat them.
3) What are some misconceptions or taboos with mental health your platform aims to address, particularly in the South Asian community?
There are many misconceptions about mental health issues in the South Asian community. One common theme I am repeatedly coming back to is the belief that it's all in the head of the person who is struggling. There is this comparison of how our parents' generation handled difficult struggles in their life without needed mental health support, questioning the needs of someone who may want to reach out for support. The goal is not to speak ill about parents, families or our community. The goal is to shed light on the toxic cycle that we do not talk about. The way of life for the past generation does not have to be their childrens’ reality. The goal of this platform is to help others understand that even if they never leave their home, they will know home is not the world, and it is okay to choose for yourself.
Whenever we choose to talk about something historically taboo, there are bound to be some struggles along the way. I grew up in a chaotic environment surrounded by alcoholism, abuse, and untreated mental illness- all taboo topics in my community. We are drilled with the three unspoken rules of a dysfunctional family – don’t feel, don’t trust, and don’t talk (ACA) because of which I felt alone in my experiences. Brown Girl Trauma allowed thousands of people to realize that it was okay to break the unspoken rules, talk about their feelings and experiences, and reach out for help. It also allowed me to research further the topic of intergenerational trauma and how it can be passed down from one generation to the next.
I had come to understand- generational healing meant voicing the generational trauma and destigmatizing mental health. The biggest struggle has been to help the older generation realize that this space is not about getting revenge or belittling people. It is about understanding that we are all children of trauma, and generational healing is possible. It just starts with having these conversations.
4) If there is one key mental health tip all women should follow, what would it be?
Everyone's mental health journey is different, but I think there are few universal tips that can be useful for everyone. One mental health tip that I think women should follow is to spend some alone time. Learning to spend time with yourself allows you to tap into your passions and creativity which is important to facilitate self-love. It also allows you to turn inward, focusing on your needs making space for reflection.
5) As the platform for women dreamers, what is your next big dream?
I am currently a therapist at a private practice in the Midwest, where I am completing a one-year fellowship in CBT, DBT, ACT, treatments for trauma, and many other evidence-based practices. My work with Brown Girl Trauma is mainly known for family and generational trauma within the South Asian community- a space that quickly opened up to everyone that could relate. It is the largest mental health community that focuses on family dysfunction and generational trauma. I call the community members ‘cycle breakers’ where we have conversations about reflecting on our behavioral patterns, seeking therapy, navigating our identities, voicing our experiences, and living an authentic life that is true to who we are. People relate to the narrative of being a cycle breaker.
As I take the next steps to continue building on my clinician skills as a mental health professional, I will continue building and bringing resources for this community. Many people do not have access to therapy, and social media has allowed resources into the mainstream- it is not something I take lightly. I share content and monthly resources with this community who may not access this information otherwise allowing many to start engaging in their healing journey.
Finally, as a mental health therapist, I strongly believe in the power of storytelling. As Patricia McCormick shares, “ The power of storytelling is to free us from isolation, shame, and whatever the situation.” Brown Girl Trauma will be a platform that continues to build on that.
Thank you Nisha for sharing your story with us! We are excited to have you in our global women’s network!
Bio: Nisha Patel is a mental health therapist and the founder of Brown Girl Trauma, a platform dedicated to breaking the cycle of generational trauma and family dysfunction in the South Asian community.