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Childhood Autism, A Mother's Heartwarming Journey, Gratitude and Paying it Forward

Women Who Win News Desk

1 in 55 Americans are on the spectrum, according to a study in 2019, affecting millions of people and their families. Today’s woman dreamer, Jaya Pandey, shares her experience as a mother of a son with autism. Jaya shares her family’s journey with autism, and how it brought meaning, gratitude, and a new purpose to her life. We are honored to share this heartwarming story on our platform.

I will be 50 next year and the last third of my life so far has been the most meaningful.

Being a special mom does not come with a manual,  but the experience made me strong, passionate and fierce in my beliefs and taught me empathy and compassion.

I grew up in India, married my best friend and moved to Pune, Singapore and then to Boston. We moved to Franklin as a happy young family with a first grader and a preschooler.

Anand’s lack of social interaction in preschool and his teacher’s timely advice to seek answers and help and then speech and language delay as diagnosis was just the beginning. The diagnosis didn't feel like a big deal then but in third grade Autism officially entered our life and changed it forever. Memories of those years will haunt us forever. I remember how frustrated, scared and sad we were. And then I discovered help and support in a totally different way. Circle of friends, writing, cooking, music (especially Jagjit Singh’s ghazal) helped me survive that dark time of our life. Fast forward to the present day, and I know how timely, meaningful and important that was.

My 2012 India trip changed something. My blog was born with the thought that the family should know who Anand was and know what our life is like. Little did I know that the blog I wrote as a way of self expression will one day become a way for many to cope and move forward.

I started writing, collecting information, connecting people and learning the nuances of the Special Education world. In 2015 my 100 saree pact stories became the voice for many moms all around the world.

I met some amazing non Indian moms who helped, gave direction and held my hand in difficult times. I realized that there were many Indian special needs moms who were  just as confused and clueless as I first was and decided to help them. In 2017 the Moms Network was born. It was a vision to bring the Indian moms together to create a community. In 2019, I started Family picnics. This was motivated by what we had missed out on in our own lives - being able to go out as a family together.

The pandemic and social distancing gave rise to the idea of creating The 2020 Family Photoshoot. Having lived that life ourselves, I know how important and difficult it is to make memories for families like ours. In my own small way I am able to bring smiles and happy memories to many families.

I can clearly see how a blog, stories from the Saree pact, The Moms Network, summer picnics, Monthly dinners and weekly Zoom calls and family photoshoots make me the person that I have evolved into. They define me and my vision of educating, reaching out and helping families like my own. I owe my sense of gratitude, compassion, dedication, passion and focus to my family. 

Additionally, my perspective on some common Autism questions and topics of conversation.

1.Autism is a spectrum - so there are so many signs including,

  • Social interaction, speech and communication difficulties, Restricted interests and repetitive behaviors. inconsistent eye contact, Lack of awareness or understanding of other people's thoughts or feelings,

  • Difficulty processing complex combinations of emotional and sensory stimuli, Oversensitivity

2 .First step is to get the referral from a pediatrician and then neuropsychological evaluation. That would help get the extent of disability and ask for  services.

  • OT and Speech evaluation

  • services for the young children and services in schools.  

  • Reach out to other parents and get educated about the IEP process and services 

3. A List of Resources For Families / People with Autism, Supporters, and Awareness

Bio: Jaya Pandey, I am a woman, mom, wife, sister daughter, friend, fighter, community builder. I love cooking, Music specially Ghazals, Poetry and Sarees. Read more about me on my two blogs. MomlovesAnand.Blogspot.com and JayaPandey.Blogspot.com

Thank you Jaya for sharing this inspiring story, and resources. This is a truly powerful piece for families dealing with autism and autism awareness! We are honored to have you in our empowered women’s network.

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