Attorney Nicole Gallant Shares What Every Woman Must Know About Family and Marriage Law, and Overcoming Health Challenges
“ I’ve seen so many women lose their true sense of identity and feel so out of control. A partner should lift you up, support your dreams and above all, listen.” Today’s woman dreamer, Nicole Gallant is a Divorce Lawyer and Mediator practicing family law. She shares her insights on key family law topics affecting women including divorce, relationship red flags, building a support system, and more. She also reflects on a challenging personal health journey with lymphoma, particularly how she balanced this with her career and how she overcomes challenges and adversities. Check out her informative and inspiring story below.
1) Tell us about your interest in Family Law and how / why you decided to set up a private law practice?
Family law was the most interesting class in law school for me because it was so relatable. Every person I know has been touched in some way by the impacts of Family Law, including my own family. After law school, I was offered an Associate position in a family law practice where I had the opportunity to see how the practice of Family Law impacts real families in everyday life.
I’ve worked in law firms since I was 16 years old, each of them small to medium sized. After I had been practicing for about 10 years at the same firm, I wanted to take the best parts of what I’d learned about law practice and client relationships and serve my clients with that experience. My law partner and I recognize the important role we play in our client’s major life changes and we built our firm around the need for personalized, compassionate attention.
2) Divorce rates are constantly rising. In your practice, what are the top 3 reasons that couples get divorced?
Most recently I’d say ineffective communication, infidelity and addictions. Typically, there is some combination of these issues at play.
3) What are some red flags for women in a relationship? And what are the first steps for someone considering leaving their marriage?
I tell my clients that I am not a therapist, but during our relationship I inevitably feel that there is some degree of therapy any family lawyer has to provide. Red flags don’t always appear as a red flag at first. We don’t fall in love or marry the red flags, these are typically smaller issues that snowball over time. That said, control is the biggest red flag, in all of its forms. Financial control, when they keep you in the dark about income, secret bank accounts or property. Emotional control, when they teach you how to repress your own feelings in favor of their own. I’ve seen so many women lose their true sense of identity and feel so out of control. A partner should lift you up, support your dreams and above all, listen. Feeling like you cannot be who you are, that you are unable to pursue your dreams or goals are major red flags.
If someone is considering leaving their marriage, the first and most important step is to build your team. Enlist the support of your family and friends, consider enlisting the assistance of a counselor, seek out legal counsel to understand your rights and inform yourself about alternative dispute resolution services. If you are afforded the luxury of time to plan for this process, you want to have your team assembled for emotional support as you will lean on them in many ways.
For those in a situation where they are not responsible for the family finances, it’s immediately time to make yourself knowledgeable. Take an inventory of all your assets, bank accounts, investment accounts, etc. You should not assume it is appropriate to liquidate your assets or attempt to hide funds prior to consulting counsel. Always consider whether you have a safe place to return to once the process begins.
4) What are some resources for people looking for legal advice?
Your friends or family that have been through the process, for starters. These trusted people will be able to share their personal experience with their attorney or maybe even the opposing counsel on their case. You can always contact the local Bar Association for referrals of counsel, but I find personal recommendations to be the best way for a client to find the right fit for them. In abusive situations, there are wonderful teams that focus on assisting victims of domestic violence such as HAWC. Many lawyers offer free consultations, allowing you the chance to find the person you think will best suit your needs.
5) You have recently been through a very tumultuous medical journey of your own which started in a completely benign manner. Tell us about it and what were some of your life lessons as a result of going through this?
Yes! I was working from home (thank you COVID!) and thought I had strained my neck, when I noticed a strange lump at the base of my neck. Thinking it was just an allergic reaction to something, I called my doctor to just make sure. Well, that seemingly harmless “double-checking” appointment ended with a trip to the ER for a CT Scan. In what still feels like the most surreal moment of my life, the ER doctor came in my room, shut the door behind him and pulled up a chair. He very calmly said “we believe this is lymphoma and you need to go to Boston immediately.” Prior to this moment, I knew nothing of lymphoma. I heard only the word: cancer and my world simply stopped. 3 long days of testing at Brigham and Womens/Dana Farber, I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Hodgkins Lymphoma. My amazing female oncologist promised me that while this cancer is very aggressive, it is also very responsive to treatment. After 8 cycles of chemotherapy over 16 weeks, I am proud to say that I just learned that I am cancer free!
Going through chemotherapy while trying to maintain my law practice was really challenging. I pride myself on being available to clients and I simply was not able to work as much as I wanted to towards the end of my treatment. This really forced me to prioritize. It feels “lazy” to be laying around on the couch as a working mom, since every moment of the day is typically spent organizing family matters. When you go through this kind of chemo, there is no other choice but to rest so your body can do the hard work of healing itself. Forced rest allowed me to see that while of course it is important to plan the groceries and school lunches, I want my kids to look back and remember the times we played together. I tried to see this cancer through their eyes, remembering that Mom did what she had to so that she could stay with us. Slowing down and spending the quality time is incredibly hard but the most important life lesson I have learned.
Thank you Nicole for Sharing Your Story With Us! We are excited to have you in our global women’s network!
Bio: Nicole Gallant is a Divorce Lawyer and Mediator who has been practicing family law since 2009. She is the founding co-partner of Gallant Messier Family Law Group of North Andover, MA, a firm that exclusively practices family law and family law mediation. Prior to practicing law, Nicole received her BA in Political Science and Sociology from Merrimack College and her Juris Doctorate from New England Law Boston. Nicole resides in Southern New Hampshire with her husband and children.