Sink or Swim: Life Can Be Understood Backwards but Lives Forward; Gauri Advani Talks Journey with Epilepsy
“Being diagnosed with epilepsy was a “sink or swim” moment. I had two choices, I could either sink, or I could keep my head above water and swim. I decided to swim.” Today’s woman dreamer, Gauri Advani, a London-based Lawyer and Senior Consultant, and founder of Epilepsy –let's talk about it!! and Health Is Wealth India.com, shares her personal courageous journey, balancing the condition with a very busy professional and personal life. From the important role mentors played on her life, to prioritizing her health, Gauri shares her life’s philosophy: Life can be understood backwards but lives forward.
1) You have also dealt with epilepsy in your own life. How has that condition changed your life?
To answer this question accurately, it's important to understand that I wasn’t born with epilepsy. In fact, I was diagnosed with the condition in around 1992/93 well after my schooling and years at university. Once I had accepted that I suffered with epilepsy (and yes it does need a level of acceptance), I decided to work best “around “it. At the time I was blessed to have two of the greatest titans in their own fields as my mentors, namely Mr TN Seshan (Chairman of The Election Commission of India) and Mr. J B Dadachanji, lawyer par excellence. Both incidentally were later my referees when I was awarded the Chevening Scholarship to the University of London.
As a project –finance lawyer practicing with JB Dadachanji, and then moving on to London, United Kingdom to continue my post-grad fellowship and indeed my legal career in the United Kingdom, I took life one step at a time. I had to get used to taking my anti –epileptic medication on time every single day. Even now, it’s the very first thing I think about every morning and before sleeping. Irrespective, whether I was working late in office (which I often did) or attending a client dinner, taking my medication twice a day became my priority. I carried my “SOS” pills in my business suites, and in my handbags –just in case!! I couldn’t drive because of my epilepsy, so walking or taking public transport became the norm for me as well, thank God for London black cabs! I have always taken care of myself and I treat my body as “my temple”. As a result, over the years I have become more conscious of what I eat and drink. I never let epilepsy come in the way of my legal career or my work. My legal guru Mr. Dadachanji told me once “Gauri, keep your eyes on the stars and your feet on the ground, and you will be fine, you are your own ambassador “. I never forgot this. As a “Partner “and Head of India Practice at two City law firms in London, for me my clients and my work always came first.
Of course, my health was always important, and then again - epilepsy is like a stalker that doesn’t go away. In fact, it raises its ugly head if you slip up even a bit. I have even had a seizure in my City law firm, and my doctor informed me that the epileptic seizure was “stress induced". Consequently, I became aware of stressful situations, and I learnt to stay away from negative people and any kind of toxic and negative conditions as much as I can.
2) You have done some amazing work with epilepsy. Tell us more about that. What inspires your work with epilepsy awareness? How can other people interested in learning more/raising awareness get involved?
I never hid my epilepsy ever and got involved with epilepsy awareness to help others who didn’t know how to cope or indeed found it difficult to speak about their condition. Epilepsy Action, one of the biggest charities in the UK approached me to speak about my epilepsy, especially working in the corporate world and indeed as a successful British Asian. The interview was a big success and was circulated widely. To get involved I would suggest reaching out to your national or local charities and let them know of your interest to help in any way you can. Even a membership helps greatly.
3) Epilepsy awareness varies across cultures and around the world. What are some misconceptions or common questions around epilepsy that you have heard and would like to address?
First and foremost, epilepsy is a neurological condition. It has nothing to do with mental illness or the mind. Charles Dickens suffered with epilepsy as did Agatha Christie. The weirdest misconception I have heard about epilepsy is that it may be contagious. That’s the most idiotic statement I have ever heard. I simply told the person who once said this to me, that if this were true “a lot of very important people both in my personal life and legal fraternity would be suffering from epilepsy by now” - he didn’t know what to say and quickly changed the subject.
4) You once wrote in social media that life can be understood backwards but lived forward. Tell us more about that. Further, what is the most important lesson you have learned in life?
I have had to deal with a lot of “sink or swim” moments in my life and that too all alone. In fact, being diagnosed with epilepsy was also one such “sink or swim” moment. I had two choices, I could either sink, or I could keep my head above water and swim. I decided to swim. The first thing I did was to attend a political rally with my father –in –law. I also kept attending office and continued to work hard at my legal practice. I knew I had greater heights to reach. It's very true that when you’re going through these “sink or swim” moments in life, one doesn’t have time to stop, analyse and examine your decisions in any detail. I just had to deal, with life, it’s changing dynamics, and that too, most often just by myself. Consequently, life for me personally could only be understood backwards, when I think back. And then I take the good from it, learn the lessons from the bad and ugly, and live forward. The most important lesson I have learnt in life is to live with dignity and grace. I have zero tolerance for hate and jealousy. Haters don’t really hate you; they hate themselves because you’re a reflection of what they wish to be but are too jealous and weak to admit it.
4) As the platform for women dreamers, what is your next big dream?
I continue to be a consultant and keep myself occupied. But my bigger dream is to continue my work with epilepsy charities both in UK and in India. Raising awareness is critical regarding a chronic condition such as epilepsy. I already run a website called Epilepsy –let's talk about it!! I also run a health and wellness website Health Is Wealth India. Com. I also plan to open a trust which works with charities globally regarding Epilepsy and keep up my speaking engagements to raise awareness around Epilepsy.
Thank you Gauri for sharing your journey with us! We are excited to have you in our empowered women’s network!
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