“I’m a Survivor” Advocate and Podcaster Misty Chaviers on Surviving, Overcoming, and Thriving After Domestic Violence
“Hi, my name is Misty, I am from Alabama, and I want to be an advocate!” Several years later, that dream became a reality for me.” In the U.S. alone, one in four women are domestic violence victims every year. And, for those that escape these situations, finding resources for recovery can be incredibly difficult. Today’s woman dreamer, Misty Chaviers, a domestic violence and abuse recovery advocate, works with women in this stage, navigating the legal process with them. A survivor herself, Misty knows the mental roadblocks and trauma victims face, and she works with recovery centers such as the YWCA in Central Alabama to help overcome them. Misty also hosts the “I’m a Survivor” podcast, where she tells the story of her own journey as a survivor and gives other women a platform to share their experiences. She also co-founded the Man Up movement, which aims to educate young men on the role they can play in preventing domestic violence. Misty spoke to Women Who Win on how her role as a survivor helped shape her career in this very daunting field.
By Naisha Roy
So many of your incredible accomplishments deal with the very heavy topics of surviving domestic violence and overcoming the trauma associated with it. When did you decide that you wanted to dedicate yourself to advocating for women who were victims of this abuse, and how did that decision impact you?
I saw this documentary in 2014 called Private Violence on HBO and in the documentary there was a lady who was an advocate named Kit Gruelle. She was a survivor and she was so amazing. I can remember in that moment, I said to myself, I really want to be like Kit. I want to advocate for women who are going through domestic violence. So here I was, a small town girl in Alabama, and no one had ever heard my name before. I somehow got Kit’s number from a woman's place, and the first thing I said to her when she answered the phone was “Hi, my name is Misty, I am from Alabama, and I want to be an advocate!” Several years later, that dream became a reality for me. I just wanted to save women’s lives and make an impact on their lives as well. My voice was silenced for so many years, but now it was time for me to start talking.
2. Tell me a little bit about your work as a case manager in your own community and your work with the YWCA in aiding domestic violence victims. What kind of support do you give these women, and how does it help them recover?
I give women court advocacy through their protection orders and I also help women through the protection from abuse order process as well. I get women services such as counseling, support group, and legal assistance through the referral process. So many times, I am their first support system in the courtroom. Sometimes I am that rock for them after leaving abuse, so I have to be patient, compassionate, and understanding through my work. I also go over protection orders with law enforcement and help walk them through the process as well. I am so grateful for the YWCA Central Alabama for their services and their support for me.
3. In your podcast, "I'm a Survivor," you tackle these topics at a much more personal level and give women advice on recovering from domestic violence. How do you approach conversations around these very heavy issues and create a safe environment for both other women and yourself to open up?
I let women know that they’re not alone. I too am a survivor of abuse, and it’s okay to open up and speak their truth and have their voices heard. I let them know it takes so much courage and bravery to talk about so much trauma they have endured from abuse. I use experience of my own to allow women to freely trust me and open up. We usually connect from just being survivors.
4. You also co-founded the Man Up! movement which makes young men aware of their roles in preventing domestic violence. Why is it important for you to approach the issue from this perspective as well?
Young men need to be educated about domestic violence because they are learning at a young age to be leaders in our communities and to how to treat women so that maybe they can be the cycle breakers before abuse ever gets started. Educating our youth is so important.
5. What advice do you have for women going through domestic violence currently, and what tools do you suggest for them to find safety?
For women who are in active abuse, I would tell them to find out about the resources that are available for them and create a plan of safety for themselves away from their abuser. They should plan on getting away from the abuse so they can work on getting their lives back. We have a 24/7 crisis line at the YWCA, and the crisis line is an amazing resource for help.
Wherever you are, find out your local crisis line numbers and call when you’re alone for assistance. Remember your worth, because no one deserves to be abused. You lose yourself when you're going through domestic violence, so when you finally becomes free from that toxic environment, it would be a good thing to start trauma therapy and find a support group.