How to Build Self-Confidence and Overcome Negativity/Toxic Environments with Amsterdam Based Empowerment Coach Monika Zampa
“If you want to be a successful in your life, you need to change the way you TALK TO YOURSELF FIRST” Originally from the Czech Republic, today’s woman dreamer, Monika Zampa, left her investment banking career in London to follow her dreams to empower women to be the best version of themselves. In this inspiring interview, she shares the root causes behind why women struggle with confidence, how to overcome negativity and toxic environments, and her favorite place in Amsterdam (her current home city). Enjoy her story!
1) You are an Amsterdam-based empowerment coach, mentoring women to be the best version of themselves. Tell us more about your journey?
My business is the journey I needed to take to become the woman I am today. When I left my career in London as an investment banker, my colleagues would enviously (and in disbelief) saw me quit, decline a pay-raise, sell all my belongings and follow my dreams. I took one year off to explore and travel the world, with the aim of “finding myself” in India after an emotionally draining divorce. It was supposed to be just one year off, with a possibility of returning back to the banking career. It never thankfully happened and because of new romance I ended up in Amsterdam. Where I still reside, 22 years later. We all have our unique path and the journey.
I left Czech Republic as a naïve 19 year old to improve my English skills, and married at 21, became a banker, divorced, travelled the world, started art career, and became a gallerist I gave a pain free home birth at 41 which opened up a new chapter in my life: Energy Healer, Empowerment Coach, Mentor and key note speaker. Having walked 25+ on a spiritual self discovery journey, the biggest finding is: If you want to be a successful in your life as a business woman, break free from toxic relationships or even karmic lineage of scarcity and struggle you need to change the way you TALK TO YOURSELF FIRST
2) You work with ambitious career women to overcome negative self talk & toxic environments. What are some signs women should watch out for to see if they are in a toxic environment? What are some actionable tips on how women can remove themselves from toxic environments?
Let me tell you a story of a boiling frog. When we put a frog into a pan of boiling water, it will immediately jump out. However, if we place a frog in a pan of cold water and slowly increase the temperature to a boiling point, it will stay, and subsequently die. Same with a toxic relationships. It is undetectable at first, because it happens slowly, drip by drip, drop by drop. Until it becomes unbearable.
The signs to watch out are:
Afraid to openly express your feelings, out of fear of BEING JUDGED
Afraid to voice your opinion, out of fear of being CRITISIZED OR RIDICULED Afraid to communicate your needs, out of fear being IGNORED
Then you are in a toxic relationship.
What I have found out from my own experience and doing research is that there are three types of toxic abuse: Physical, Emotional , and Lack of Praise ( is not so often described)
Imagine you grow up in a “normal” family, but you do not receive any praise and encouragement from your surrounding. Oh my gosh. does it damage your self esteem & self worth! Whatever you do, you cannot just please your parents. And subsequently find yourself as an adult in domineering partnership, constantly looking for an approval. So how come ambitious and intelligent women, find themselves in toxic relationships and toxic environment?
The reason we enter “unhealthy“ relationships is because of our basic NEED: WE WANT TO BE LOVED. And because we desperately want to fulfill this need, we accept someone into our lives who is less that we deserve. If you want to find out the RED FLAGS to avoid in the potentially toxic relationship, I have a produced powerful Ebook
If you currently residing in a toxic environment right now ACTIONABLE STEPS would be:
1. Honestly assess your situation and admit that you are in a toxic relationship
2. Take a deep breath and reach out to an expert (not a friend) who can empathically listen to you, professionally guide you, and provide you with actionable & practical steps to raise Self Love Capacity ASAP
3. Connect with Nature on daily basis to recharge
4. Start energetic practices (mediation, affirmation, breath work, exercise....) 5. Surround yourself with NEW high energy positive people (if you can)
3) You are also all about positivity and being confident in yourself? What are some key reasons you have seen women struggle with confidence?
1st reason: In my 25+ years of spiritual development I came to conclusion that the reason why we end up in a toxic relationship is deeply rooted in the INNER SELF TALK and how we explained a particular story to our “child like brain”. Somewhere, somehow in our early childhood, we felt not heard, not seen and not understood. Not taken seriously (who has heard “you are just a kid, you don't know anything”) Intentionally or otherwise. This feeling of transparency, “not fitting in”, being the “odd one out” drags with us till adulthood, where we are do our outmost best to “fit a square peg into a round hole” and mold ourselves to societal norms. To copy paste Happy Hollywood like romantic story, which is of course unrealistic.
2nd reason is much harder to spot. Every single person has a unique story. And it is not only where you are right now, it's not only your family, but also the family before – your ancestral path. Especially if you're a highly sensitive woman carrying a heavy load of feminine karmic lineage on your shoulders, for generations upon generations, you feel it deeply in your abdominal area. [can be healed through Time line Therapy and Energy Healing]
3rd reason is your immediate environment. If you are surrounded by strongly patriarchal driven society or are in a place where women have lost their touch of sisterhood and genuine heart felt support, you might consider to “carry your burden” silently as a new norm.
4) You are based in Amsterdam. What is your favorite part of living in the Netherlands? With summer travel coming up, do you have any must-visit travel recommendations?
Amsterdam is vibrant multicultural easy going city, with million bicycles, colourful city parks and exceptional museums. Hundreds of cafes are sprinkled around the city for you to pause and watch the world swirl by. If you come to Amsterdam, let me share a secret with you, visit Amstel park!
5) As the platform for women dreamers, what is your next big dream?
To share my life's journey and the extraordinary transformation with other women, so they get inspired to take action and rise from toxic environments and expand the capacity to CLAIM, THRIVE AND FLOURISH in all aspects of ABUNDANCE. There is so much wisdom, beauty and deeper knowing in every woman. My dream would be to speak on stages and spread this message worldwide, so every women, young or old, deeply believes that she is EXTRAORDINARILY POWERFUL CREATOR.
Thank you Monika for sharing your story with us! We are excited to have you in our global women’s network!
Bio: Monika is internationally renowned keynote Public Speaker, Empowerment Female Coach & Energy Healer. Originally Czech/Russian, currently living in Amsterdam, mother to 9-year-old daughter. An ex-investment banker in City of London, left on moral grounds, traveled around the world, embarked on a 25+ years journey of self-discovery and healing In recent years walking the entrepreneurial journey towards financial independence. Energy healings, family constellation, mindset reprogramming, empowerment coaching are all encompassed in 3 step Rapid Transformational process under The Diamond Method. Monika effectively mentors powerful career women to rise from toxic relationships by stopping the negative chit chat & expanding your capacity to FULLY receive ABUNDANCE More info: www.monikazampa.com