Well-Behaved Indian Women - Top Psychiatrist Dr. Saumya Dave Shares The Roles that Culture & Family Play into Mental Health
WELL-BEHAVED INDIAN WOMEN - “I grew up craving fiction featuring strong South Asian women and at the end of college, decided to try writing my own. “ Today’s woman dreamer, Saumya Dave is a leading psychiatrist, author, and a frequent voice on NBC News. Aiming to address mental health throughout her platforms, Saumya brings her expertise to the crucial topic - what is the role of family and culture on mental health? Enjoy her story!
1. Tell us your story. You are both a psychiatrist and a talented author, and published two books, "What A Happy Family" and "Well-Behaved Indian Women". What inspired you?
Thank you so much for having me here. My love for psychiatry and writing both stem from the same place: a curiosity for human nature. I've always been fascinated by what motivates, inspires, and dejects people, how relationships shape us, and how we can learn from our stories. For many years, I thought I had to pick one path, and stick to it. But I realized with time that I could create my own rules and pursue my different passions. I had to be okay with things taking longer than I expected and to navigate a lot of uncertainty but it was all worth it. I grew up craving fiction featuring strong South Asian women and at the end of college, decided to try writing my own. It's been a journey of learning and I'm so grateful to be able to keep growing through both of my careers.
2. As you are a psychiatrist, how do you address mental health in your books?
I want mental health to be in all of my books and the way it will be addressed varies depending on the story and characters. In Well-Behaved Indian Women, a lot of the mental health struggles were depicted through Nandini, the mom in the story. In What a Happy Family, every member of the family is struggling with something they aren't sharing with everyone else. The stigma surrounding mental health is more directly explored. My third book addresses mental health in a different way and I'm also working on a nonfiction project related to mental health.
3. Tell us more about your 2 books. What are some key lessons you want women to take away from them? What was your favorite line/passage in each book?
Well-Behaved Indian Women is about three generations of women navigating struggles in their careers and relationships. It explores the complicated bonds between mothers and daughters, what it means to live the lives we want instead of the ones that are expected of us.
Favorite line: "For years, we assumed ambition was a curse for us. Men could always wear it like a cape, while women were forced to tuck and hold it inside themselves."
What a Happy Family is about the seemingly perfect Joshi family and how they unravel after a public scandal. The book is about how family can hurt and heal us, what it means for us to show up authentically to those we are closest to.
Favorite line: "By visiting their pasts, they were able to pave different futures together. She used to fantasize about what it would be like to have simple ties to her family tree instead of the twisted branches that are in theirs. But she knows now that she wouldn't want to be any other way. They still aren't always in perfect harmony with one another, but maybe that isn't the point. Maybe being whole and authentic with the people you love is the real victory."
4. What are your top tips to women on their mental health? How does culture and family expectations tie into mental health?
If you're able to have access to a therapist, I highly recommend seeing one, even if it's for a few appointments. That relationship can be a source of support and growth. Speaking to the culture and family expectations, I've found that the journey is about unlearning as much as it's about learning. Unlearning what makes you worthy. Unlearning what you're allowed to put up with. Unlearning unhealthy dynamics and creating new patterns.
Also, conversations lead to change. There can be so much pressure to present a strong appearance regardless of how we may be feeling. When we are open about our own struggles, we give permission for others to do the same. I have to say that I'm in awe of how so many people are advocating for their mental health. I've seen more and more talk about therapy, eradicating the stigma, embracing that it's okay to not be okay, etc. It's been incredible to see so much change in just the past several years and I can't wait to see how things continue to evolve.
5. As the platform for women dreamers, what is your next big dream?
My next big dream is to have complete agency over my time and be a part of helping other women have that as well. Being a new mom during the pandemic and publishing two books was quite an adventure. I hope that through my work as a psychiatrist and author, I'm able to play a tiny part in helping women avoid burnout, get the rest they deserve, and have time for themselves.
Thank you Saumya for sharing your inspiring story with us! We are excited to have you in our global women’s network!
Bio: Saumya Dave is a psychiatrist, the author of Well-Behaved Indian Women and What A Happy Family, and co-founder of the women's mental health nonprofit, thisisforHER. She is a frequent contributor to NBC News Now and an adjunct professor at Mount Sinai Hospital. She lives in New York with her husband and son.
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