Shanti Nair Shares Her Inspiring Journey - Living with Spina Bifida Overcoming Adversity, and Empowering Others with Disabilities
“I was so lost in the euphoria of the moment, that I completely forgot my disability. “Today’s woman dreamer Shanti Nair has dealt with a challenging health journey with Spina Bifida and is wheelchair bound. An adventurous spirit at heart, Shanti moved to the US at a young age to pursue her career and education, and loves trying new activities (sailing, dancing, kayaking etc) despite adversities. She currently works for the Center for Independent Living in South Florida, and she received her Psychology degree from Oklahoma State University. In an inspiring interview with one of our hosts, Anita Chitnis, Shanti shares her experience growing up with her disability, immigrating to the U.S., and how she seeks to empower others! An inspiring story, we are excited to share Shanti’s story for Women’s Health Wednesday!
You were born with a disability and had severe complications at birth but miraculously survived. Your life’s journey has been nothing short of sheer courage and determination. Being a woman raised in the Indian culture and given the personal physical challenges you decided to make your transition from the East to the West. Tell us what triggered this big transition.
Leaving home to live on my own at the age of 30 years for first time, was a major transition. After living within the protected setting of home, I had a deep sense of insecurity. Being the youngest child and only girl in the family, there was much apprehension in letting me go. After all, in the Indian culture the unwritten rule is that girls usually stay with their parents till they get married. So being single it was understood that home was where I would be. Having a disability, my parents were hesitant to me go and were wondering how I would manage on my own.
Growing up in a culture where having a disability is considered shame based, in addition to the impact of being shunned in society, as a woman I felt like a “double minority”. I decided to start a new life in USA. This prompted my decision, along with the lack of accessibility in India.
2. Tell us about the challenges you faced adapting to the new Life and culture in the West and your journey as an immigrant.
Having the luxury of maids to take care of all my needs at home, one can well imagine the extent to which I was pampered at home. Not knowing how to even cook for myself, it sure was a concern for me as well. But, equally determined to break away from the ‘nest’ and move on, I stuck to my decision to come to USA. My parents had no choice but to let me go with the greatest of reluctance, especially on my father’s part. He secretly hoped that I would not get admitted to the colleges in USA or that my visa would be rejected. He nearly got his wish as I initially had difficulty in obtaining a visa. But to my good luck I was able to get it the next time I applied. I think the day I left home will always be etched in my mind. During that long flight several thoughts were running through my head, which will remain in my memory forever. I can never forget the confused state of mind I went through. It was a bittersweet feeling that I am sure everybody goes through when migrating from one country to another. Landing in a strange country was my biggest fear. I was overwhelmed by the thought of living on my own and being responsible for myself as home was thousands of miles away. That meant being on my own with nobody to turn to in times of need. At this time many questions ran through my mind: Would I be able to take care of myself in terms of shopping, banking, cooking, which were tasks that I never did before? Would I be able to make friends? Would I be able to adapt to a new culture? What are my options if I do not succeed in adjusting to this new way of life? Fortunately, my parents had given me the option of coming back if I felt I could not cope up in the USA. But a perseverance to be independent motivated me to go on. I did not allow myself to give up. In my mind I knew there was no turning back.
I started my life in Oklahoma as a student where I lived for 3 ½ years. Each day becoming a unique learning process. Culture shock was new to me. Coming from a conservative culture, public display of affection was surprising for me. The way children talk to parents was definitely shocking to say the least. On the other hand, I realized that people did not stare at me just because my skin was a different color or because I am in a wheelchair. I was treated like an equal. This was a pleasant surprise as it would not be the same in India. I was happy to see that I could go everywhere without worrying about accessibility into buildings.
Shortly after coming to the USA, I questioned my decision to migrate, leading to a totally new life. This was heightened by the fact that I suddenly lost my father. It was an even greater blow to me as I had left home against his will. It left me with feelings of guilt and despair. I was ready to go back for his funeral never to return.
3. Despite all the odds your attitude to living Life fully is remarkable. What are some of the fun past times that you have?
My friends brought out the adventurous spirit in me. I once went sledding with them on the snow-covered slopes. A huge plastic lid served as my sled. When I reached the end of the slopes, they would carry me back on to my wheelchair and push me back to the top of the slopes. I don’t think I have ever had such fun in my life!!!! Another adventure that remains in my memory was to be tied to a harness and to swing on ropes. It was thrilling to be able to participate in such an event. I was so lost in the euphoria of the moment, that I completely forgot my disability. I have learned to sail a boat. I love the feeling of freedom in sailing on my own. I love outdoor sports and have tried wheelchair tennis, basketball, Water ski and badminton. All of which were thrilling.
4. Do you feel fulfilled now that you are working as an Independent Living Advocate, empowering individuals with disabilities and helping them with your own Life experiences.
Having struggled with being independent in the past has contributed toward my strength in facing adversity. It has empowered me to be always hopeful of leading an independent life.
Nothing is as fulfilling as being able to make a difference in an individual’s life. Through Peer Support, I have had the opportunity to share my experiences in overcoming hardships faced due to my disability. I am fortunate to be independent in self-care despite the limitations caused by my disability.
Thank you Shanti and Anita for sharing this inspiring story. We are excited to have you both in our empowered women’s network
Shanti Bio: She was born with a physical disability. Having all odds against her at birth due to medical complications, she miraculously survived. For 30 years she lived in India facing the challenge of being dependent on others for my mobility. Since she utilizes a wheelchair, accessibility in public places was a challenge. This caused her decision to transition to USA. After relocating, shehas become totally independent by being able to care for herself. She has a Bachelors degree in Psychology at Oklahoma City University. While a student at OCU, she was also a member of the Psi Chi Club and the Asian Association. Thereafter, sheobtained a Masters in Marriage and Family Therapy at St. Thomas University in Miami, Florida. She is a member of Chi Sigma Iota—Sigma Tau chapter an international honor society for students, professional counselors and counselor educators. She is also was a member of Kappa Gamma Pi. Currently she is working at Center for Independent Living of South Florida empowering individuals with disabilities.
Anita Bio: Anita Chitnis has been a software engineer in Software Development and Testing for over 25 years. She has a Master’s in Computer Science at Boston University, MCA (Master’s in Computer Applications) at Anna university Chennai and a Bachelor’s of Science in Mathematics. She has worked at Tracelink Inc, Harvard Management Company a subsidiary of Harvard University, Convexity Capital Management, Instream Inc., Digital Equipment to name a few. Her passion is in making a positive change in the lives of women and children world-wide and committed to empowering, enabling and mentoring women in all walks of life. She firmly believes that every human being owes it to oneself to lead a fulfilled and happy life and follow their bliss. She is mentoring Female Afghan Students as part of the Mentorship program for the Asian University for Women (AUW) to resettle in the US as they transition to their new life.