The Mindful Doctor: Dr. Payal Patel Ghayal on Living a Life of Endless Yay Moments and Fighting Self Doubts
“Hiding behind gratitude” is a very common way of living for most women. To be honest there is a huge cultural component to this lifestyle. Hiding behind gratitude keeps us small.“ Today’s woman dreamer, Dr. Payal Patel Ghayal is an Integrative Pediatrician and Parent Coach. She helps physicians moms go from feeling overwhelmed to empowered by using Life Coaching and Mindfulness. In this inspiring interview, she shares the importance of finding your yay moments, combating self doubts/sneaky thoughts, and more. Enjoy!
You are a Pediatric Physician with training in Integrative Medicine. What inspired your interest in healthcare & pediatrics and finally coaching?
As a 1st generation Indian American, my parents always emphasized the value of a good education and a “respectable” career where there was financial stability. So basically, I had one of three choices that most South Asian families encourage their children to pursue. In my house, it was really one choice. Which never felt forced upon me because I love helping people, and children in particular.
Being a pediatrician was a no brainer for me,but it wasn’t until I practiced for over a decade, did I realize that medicine could be so much more than treating problems. I felt like I was putting on a Band-Aid all day long when what my patients really needed was prevention and cure through a change of lifestyle. Integrative medicine made me fall in love with medicine all over again. I truly believe in adjunct to traditional management; Integrative medicine can really get to the root of disease and prevent it through lifestyle choices and the body’s ability to heal itself through nature.
Finally, I landed at my current career as a life coach for women of color (mostly south Asian professionals) very intentionally. Despite doing all the right things in my professional and personal life, I still felt like something was missing. I felt stuck in a life that I worked so hard to create but had no time, energy, and desire to truly enjoy. I thought it was just what happened when all the boxes were checked off, but that was just a story I feed into. This felt true to me because I sawother women doing the exact same my whole life. It was culturally expected to sacrifice, serve, and not stand out.
Coaching changed my life and now I truly love my life without needing anyone else to change- parents, husband, kids, colleagues and even in-laws. I can’t imagine not investing in me anymore. The more I take care of my mental well-being, the better I show up for others.
2. You recently posted about sneaky thoughts. What sneaky thoughts do you tell yourself?. Tell us more about this. What comes to mind?
Ahh “sneaky thoughts” are one of my favorite topics to coach on. Most of have no clue the stories we tell ourselves. Here is an example of a few:
It will get better when……
If he/she would just be different, then I could be happy.
My stuff can wait because I’m choosing to prioritize everyone else
It won’t last forever
These thoughts are sneaky because they sound true and good in the moment but not so much when you check in with yourself. In reality, theyfeel uncomfortable and create resentment.
As a coach, I help women uncover these thoughts and differentiate between what’s true and what’s a story that feels true because you have believed it for a very long time.
The sneaky thoughts keep you from saying what you really want, doing what your heart truly desires, and living in a way that feels authentic.
We will discover that a lot of the beliefs come from a place of fear, shame and guilt.
Fear that we won’t be accepted or belong with our people.
Shame that is hidden in all the “should’s” in life.
Guilt that you aren’t allowed to choose you before others.
Once the thoughts have been identified, they no longer have any power over you.
3. You talk about "Hiding behind gratitude". What does this mean?
“Hiding behind gratitude” is a very common way of living for most women. To be honest there is a huge cultural component to this lifestyle. As a South Asian woman, this is all I have seen all the women in my life do. Also, this is what I saw women do in society too. Everyone kept implying, we should be happy with what we have been given. The reality is, we have all worked very hard for our own education, careers, income, and freedom. It wasn’t handed to most of us, but we feel uncomfortable for taking ownership.
Hiding behind gratitude keeps us small. Of course, we don’t ask for the raise, gender equality, the promotion, or say no to family obligations that are exhausting and overwhelming.
Can we be grateful and do what’s best for us??The answer is hell yes!! That’s how strongly I feel about this topic. If we want a different future for ourselves and the generations to come, the buck stops with us.
4. Your mantra is LIVE A LIFE OF endless “YAY” MOMENTS. What was a Yay Moment in your life that sticks out?
Yay moments are intentional choices that you have created in your life without any guilt, shame, or fear. These moments are so near and dear to your heart because it is the real you doing what your heart truly desires.
Honestly, I believe every day is YAY moment now because I am finally enjoying the life, I worked so hard to build.
If I had to pick one specific recent moment, it would be giving an inspirational talk in front of 1800 of the most well-known life coaches, including the founder of our school. The part that was a YAY moment, I was the 1st Asian Life Coach to EVER speak on that stage. No one in the stage looked like me. I decided to throw myname in the ring to see what would happen when they were taking auditions.
I thought to myself, “What do I have to lose??”
Of course, I was nervous but I knew this opened doors for so many other women who saw themselves in me.
Giving my talk in front of all my coaches was a pretty badass YAY Moment.
5. What is your top tip for women in finding work life balance?
Work life balance does not exist. However, work life integration is totally possible if you’re willing to understand your WHY. Why are you wanting something different now? Why does it matter? Why would it be no longer feasible to continue this way? I love asking myself and my clients, what would it cost you and your loved ones if you didn’t change now? The answer is priceless.
My biggest tip- don’t try to do this alone. Being a woman who walks in your shoes is a lonely path, stop isolating yourself. If you truly want to be successful, create a community and support group that will keep you accountable. As women we do better in numbers, not because we need them, but because we want them.
Also, when making your schedule, put in metime first. Even fifteen minutes to yourself can be life changing. It sets the tone for the whole day, and you have something to look forward to daily. As time goes on the fifteen minutes will turn into hours, days, weekends, and getaways.
The more you choose you, the better your relationships will be and you will fall in love with your life again.
Thank you Payal for sharing your story with us. We are excited to have you in our global women’s network!
Bio: Dr. Payal Patel Ghayal is an Integrative Pediatrician and Parent Coach. She helps physicians moms go from feeling overwhelmed to empowered by using Life Coaching and Mindfulness. As a parent coach, Dr. Patel works with moms who are committed to change, stepping into the best possible version of themselves. She is a wife and mother to her two active and imaginative boys. Dr. Patel trained as a Pediatrician in Morristown, NJ at Goryeb Children’s Hospital and later worked in a busy private practice in NJ before choosing to stay home with her boys. The extended maternity stay turned into four years. During those years she learned the practical aspects of being a parent and the real-life solutions and challenges of being a parent. After returning back to work as a Pediatrician, she was able to understand the struggles of a working doctor mom also. Despite her satisfaction as a General Pediatrician, she felt that something was missing. Dr. Patel naturally incorporated holistic medicine into her practice but decided to get officially trained at the Andrew Weil Center of Integrative Medicine in Arizona. Lastly, she decided to also enroll herself in The Life Coach Schoolto get certified and trained by the best coaches. She is currently working a Parent Coach and Pediatrician while she balances being mom to her boys.She is one of the founders of the Mindful Healthcare Collective. Her passions include baking, dancing, gardening, and connecting with family and friends.
WHO WE ARE